I need to learn how to be tough and not get bullied.
I need to learn how to strong and not crumble.
I need to learn how to stand on my own and not be affected by others.
I need to learn how to defend for myself.
I need to learn how to fight back if I have done nothing wrong.
I need to learn how to be my old me.
I miss my old self.
Just a random thought
Showing posts with label life ain't a bed of roses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life ain't a bed of roses. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
MONDAY BLUES!
though i'm at home on a monday but i'm still having big time pre tuesday blues if there is such a thing. Every morning before i set off to work, I need to have that strength end enthusiasm for work but i can't find any now. I guess i'm only purely working for the money and the cash ain't that good anyway.
Enough procrastination i guess. I'll just suck it in and endure. Tough times don't last but tough people do :) A lot of news have been going on now but i can't be bothered cause i feel that there isn't a need to. People talk and who cares cause they don't know me so i need to learn to not bother so much about people's impression. It'll only get me down so what for.
I have the urge to go for a feast! Like a real eating feast with shopping! Argh, i need retail therapy and good food!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
"GOODBYES"
I was just watching an episode of a serial drama yesterday night. That episode was talking about goodbyes. Goodbye in terms of a guy leaving for another part of the world to do things in order to give back to society.
It made me ponder that goodbyes is like one close episode and life moves on before there's another meet up. Goodbyes can be some what a good thing because it can mean that it's one day nearer to the next meet up.
Recently, many of us have bid farewell to polytechnic life which include friends, classmates, lecturers and etc. It felt happy that all hardship was over and done with. But many of us are not ready to let go the fact that we will not know when we are gonna see each other again.
No more coming to 8am lectures and being late for class.
No more checking out who is wearing what clothes and checking out what's the latest news
No more breaks in between 2 hours lecture and coming back with snacks.
But someday, we all need to grow up and let all this be memories. The memories will stay and not be forgotten.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
UPDATE!
Finally an update! my very first post of the year!
fyp have officially END. words cannot describe how all of us feel. Estatic, glad, happy and goes on. many things have happened for the past month or so. Both good and the bad. Well but since the new year is here, so i shall just begin the new year with good stuff :)
in less than 6 weeks or so, it marks the end of our polytechnic life. 3 years just passed by like that. The 3 years was filled with ups and downs. I went through the most difficult thing through the 3 years. Probably this is the time for us to grow up. To finally stand on our own feet and make decisions for ourselves. In poly i had happy moments too, which are to meet 2 special money drinking machine and 1 nice fellow :) of course there are other people that i'm really happy to meet :)
somehow i feel like after the end of poly, it's time for me to wake up and start growing up. No more childlike decisions and acts. It's serious after that. It's like the time to meet the world where politics is common and where to survive is crucial.
Why can't all of us be child like? To be friends and just be happy no matter what. No more bad acts. I guess this phrase is true at times, "it's me against the world". of course if you're lucky, you'll have nice people around you. In this case, i'm really thankful because i have nice people around me :) and i thank them for their presence.
fyp have officially END. words cannot describe how all of us feel. Estatic, glad, happy and goes on. many things have happened for the past month or so. Both good and the bad. Well but since the new year is here, so i shall just begin the new year with good stuff :)
in less than 6 weeks or so, it marks the end of our polytechnic life. 3 years just passed by like that. The 3 years was filled with ups and downs. I went through the most difficult thing through the 3 years. Probably this is the time for us to grow up. To finally stand on our own feet and make decisions for ourselves. In poly i had happy moments too, which are to meet 2 special money drinking machine and 1 nice fellow :) of course there are other people that i'm really happy to meet :)
somehow i feel like after the end of poly, it's time for me to wake up and start growing up. No more childlike decisions and acts. It's serious after that. It's like the time to meet the world where politics is common and where to survive is crucial.
Why can't all of us be child like? To be friends and just be happy no matter what. No more bad acts. I guess this phrase is true at times, "it's me against the world". of course if you're lucky, you'll have nice people around you. In this case, i'm really thankful because i have nice people around me :) and i thank them for their presence.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I'M BACK!
FINALLY I'M BACK!
haha, MST just ended on friday. studying for it was horrible. Totally felt like it was the exams. shall not further comment on it.
HOLIDAYS ARE HERE! but seems like no holidays for the rest of us cause many of us are still rushing on our projects and reports especially fyp. it's going to be over soon anyway so guess got to just suck it in.
sometimes i wonder why am i making my life so miserable and sad. i mean it's not going to work with all those negative thoughts. i want to just like use a switch to switch off those negativity cause i'm sure it'll get me into problems. i'm so done with those sadness and all. i mean not like thinking about it could make things better. i just wish i'm one who wouldn't think so much.
haha, MST just ended on friday. studying for it was horrible. Totally felt like it was the exams. shall not further comment on it.
HOLIDAYS ARE HERE! but seems like no holidays for the rest of us cause many of us are still rushing on our projects and reports especially fyp. it's going to be over soon anyway so guess got to just suck it in.
sometimes i wonder why am i making my life so miserable and sad. i mean it's not going to work with all those negative thoughts. i want to just like use a switch to switch off those negativity cause i'm sure it'll get me into problems. i'm so done with those sadness and all. i mean not like thinking about it could make things better. i just wish i'm one who wouldn't think so much.
Friday, November 20, 2009
FRIDAY!
it's friday! finally the end of the week.
PHEW~
seems like time is never enough, there's so much to do and so little time. i got to take action NOW!
see ya forks. update next time. Have a great weekend.
it's a chilly night.
PHEW~
seems like time is never enough, there's so much to do and so little time. i got to take action NOW!
see ya forks. update next time. Have a great weekend.
it's a chilly night.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
I WANT THE OLD TIMES.
one time, one try and it's over. it's going to be over. this period is going to end and all of us will be able to just look back and smile thinking that everything's done.
i guess everyone's tired and down. like my dad said who doesn't have pressure and what thing is ever easy? with obstacles will it makes us stronger. It's alright to fall, but we have to know how to pick up ourselves up and move on for time waits for no man.
i feel like i'm wasting my time and day by not doing anything meaningful. I just dwindle the day away by avoiding things. i can't. i don't want to waste anytime. i don't wish to look back and say if only i knew. all these words would then be too late.
it'll be over soon then smiles and laughter will be heard. Just like old times :)
i guess everyone's tired and down. like my dad said who doesn't have pressure and what thing is ever easy? with obstacles will it makes us stronger. It's alright to fall, but we have to know how to pick up ourselves up and move on for time waits for no man.
i feel like i'm wasting my time and day by not doing anything meaningful. I just dwindle the day away by avoiding things. i can't. i don't want to waste anytime. i don't wish to look back and say if only i knew. all these words would then be too late.
it'll be over soon then smiles and laughter will be heard. Just like old times :)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
FRIDAY!!!
It's friday!!! actually i can't wait for sunday cause that is the day where i finally get to see my guy :)
well him being in army have somehow made things different. different in the way that i become less dependent on him though of course at times when i see him my usual dependence comes back. but i start to spend more time with my family especially with my mum and sisters which is a good thing :) i start to treasure the times i have with others.
being in army have changed the way our relationship are going, now we know that we have lesser time to meet up and talk so we just make do with whatever that we have and be happy with it. i'm just happy and grateful for how things are right now.
everyone is feeling the heat, the stress and the pressure. it's tough to just ignore it. i mean how to ignore when works are piling up and deadline are approaching? seriously just want to get this over and done with.
my mum was telling me that someday when you look back, you'll realise that such stress and pressure is totally unnecessary. i think so too. have a great weekend!
well him being in army have somehow made things different. different in the way that i become less dependent on him though of course at times when i see him my usual dependence comes back. but i start to spend more time with my family especially with my mum and sisters which is a good thing :) i start to treasure the times i have with others.
being in army have changed the way our relationship are going, now we know that we have lesser time to meet up and talk so we just make do with whatever that we have and be happy with it. i'm just happy and grateful for how things are right now.
everyone is feeling the heat, the stress and the pressure. it's tough to just ignore it. i mean how to ignore when works are piling up and deadline are approaching? seriously just want to get this over and done with.
my mum was telling me that someday when you look back, you'll realise that such stress and pressure is totally unnecessary. i think so too. have a great weekend!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
STUPID CURIOUSITY
argh, matdy matdy, just let go of the past. why do you keep letting it bug you?
argh, i've been trying to tell myself that since like who knows when. i have to stop thinking and move forward if not i will be the one suffering. why am i so kpo?? stupid curiousity. just felt like letting it out.
argh, i've been trying to tell myself that since like who knows when. i have to stop thinking and move forward if not i will be the one suffering. why am i so kpo?? stupid curiousity. just felt like letting it out.
Monday, November 9, 2009
FYP FYP FYP---QUICK OVER QUICK OVER
MAN MAN MAN....
i seriously can't wait for fyp to be over. argh.. i believe many of us are feeling exactly the same way man. last semester and everything's going to be over.
many of us are starting to feel the stress and pressure cause report are piling up and so much assignment. jus can't wait for everything to be over then we can finally have a break. just wanted to blog for a while cause my mind is full of things.
i seriously can't wait for fyp to be over. argh.. i believe many of us are feeling exactly the same way man. last semester and everything's going to be over.
many of us are starting to feel the stress and pressure cause report are piling up and so much assignment. jus can't wait for everything to be over then we can finally have a break. just wanted to blog for a while cause my mind is full of things.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
CLASS GATHERING
Had class gathering today :) actually it was not bad after all. after all the misunderstandings, seems like things finally settle down and everone is happy with each other :) that's great!
legs are damn aching now. haha.
well it's been a while since we last talked. but i guess to look on the bright side, each day is a day closer to seeing and hearing you. finally, left another 3days and 3 nights and you'll be back. can't wait.
i seriously have no idea what's wrong with me. i really want to get over the past and move move move on. But i guess it's not as easy as it seems. i will keep trying real hard cause everything is in the past. And who doesn't have a past right. i guess at times we should be patient, not jump to conclusion quickly and look at things at the bigger picture.
somehow i feel that guys are really relax about certain stuff and how i wish i can be as relax as them.
tiring day. got to run.
legs are damn aching now. haha.
well it's been a while since we last talked. but i guess to look on the bright side, each day is a day closer to seeing and hearing you. finally, left another 3days and 3 nights and you'll be back. can't wait.
i seriously have no idea what's wrong with me. i really want to get over the past and move move move on. But i guess it's not as easy as it seems. i will keep trying real hard cause everything is in the past. And who doesn't have a past right. i guess at times we should be patient, not jump to conclusion quickly and look at things at the bigger picture.
somehow i feel that guys are really relax about certain stuff and how i wish i can be as relax as them.
tiring day. got to run.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
FUN FUN!
i'm feeling ultra confused now. i don't know what to do and i don't know how to handle it.
You asked me such a direct question and totally caught me off hand. i just really want this cool down and have peace. i have nothing to hurt you so let's just let things go back to normal ok?
these few days i've been pretty much alone. But i'm kind of used to it and i figured that i have to get use to it and start occupying myself. it's really awful feeling so down at one point and clueless at another. I guess it's all in the mind. I just can't wait for this period of time to end.
I've been reflecting a lot lately. I realised that at the end of the day, i'm really thankful that i have my family there for me especially my mum and of course not forgetting the 2 girls who recently been making me laugh and all. I guess there will come a point in time where i have to learn how to be independent. In fact i am now slowly learning to be independent.
I just want to go out and have fun. LOADS OF FUN :) just like yesterday when i went to pick up glasses with my sister, she's really damn funny. Upload the pics next time :)
You asked me such a direct question and totally caught me off hand. i just really want this cool down and have peace. i have nothing to hurt you so let's just let things go back to normal ok?
these few days i've been pretty much alone. But i'm kind of used to it and i figured that i have to get use to it and start occupying myself. it's really awful feeling so down at one point and clueless at another. I guess it's all in the mind. I just can't wait for this period of time to end.
I've been reflecting a lot lately. I realised that at the end of the day, i'm really thankful that i have my family there for me especially my mum and of course not forgetting the 2 girls who recently been making me laugh and all. I guess there will come a point in time where i have to learn how to be independent. In fact i am now slowly learning to be independent.
I just want to go out and have fun. LOADS OF FUN :) just like yesterday when i went to pick up glasses with my sister, she's really damn funny. Upload the pics next time :)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
PRE-MONDAY BLUES!
Finally set up my blog properly but the links aren't fully up yet. It's another sunday and tomorrow is monday. I bet tonight i will automatically suffer from monday blues.
Somehow these couple of days, things have not gone too well. Things didn't seem to go my way. I'm very tired of having such feeling already, very tired of trying to run away. But i know i got to be positive cause i'm very sure this period of time will go away.
Somehow these couple of days, things have not gone too well. Things didn't seem to go my way. I'm very tired of having such feeling already, very tired of trying to run away. But i know i got to be positive cause i'm very sure this period of time will go away.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
IT'S THE WEEKENDS! SMILE!
i don't why is it that it is so hard, so tough to just let go. It isn't any of my concern anymore but it's just difficult to let it go. I'll try though.
Mum's been feeling gloomy over the past few days. I guess its probably because of the stress she's facing and when she comes back home, she puts additional pressure on herself. I guess i don't see the way she see things. I guess i'll never understand how she feels till i become a mum myself. Yesterday night was just me and her alone at home. She just kept saying things that wasn't very pleasant to my ear. I couldn't really take it anymore so i just decided to go to my room once she's done with the talking.
It's not that i like to be rude and all but just that my temper starts to get in. I'm doing all that i can to make you happy. But does it mean that making you happy, makes me sad at times? Probably i guess why humans feel angry and down its because we only see things from our prespective. If we could just look at the other party's prespective then things will get better and we'll able to sort it out.
Anyway i hope today will be a good day cause i have loads to things to do today. Haha. My family and i will be driving in to Malaysia this evening to attend someone's baby 1 month anniversary. Pictures will be up!
Have a great weekend everyone!
(damn, have to do formal report)
Mum's been feeling gloomy over the past few days. I guess its probably because of the stress she's facing and when she comes back home, she puts additional pressure on herself. I guess i don't see the way she see things. I guess i'll never understand how she feels till i become a mum myself. Yesterday night was just me and her alone at home. She just kept saying things that wasn't very pleasant to my ear. I couldn't really take it anymore so i just decided to go to my room once she's done with the talking.
It's not that i like to be rude and all but just that my temper starts to get in. I'm doing all that i can to make you happy. But does it mean that making you happy, makes me sad at times? Probably i guess why humans feel angry and down its because we only see things from our prespective. If we could just look at the other party's prespective then things will get better and we'll able to sort it out.
Anyway i hope today will be a good day cause i have loads to things to do today. Haha. My family and i will be driving in to Malaysia this evening to attend someone's baby 1 month anniversary. Pictures will be up!
Have a great weekend everyone!
(damn, have to do formal report)
Saturday, October 10, 2009
MY FIRST!
haha, my first blog entry and i decided to switch to blogger cause i was pretty bored of the old one already. yesterday while trying to create a new blog account i just found out i had a blog. Guess what its called. Its called "nerdygal's=blog".
I got a big shock of my life cause i totally had no idea i had created an account before. After much investigation, i found out it was the work of my younger sister. The address of the blog was damn funny. Something like nerdygallolipop.blogspot.com. I forced her to delete it for me. Haha. Anyway post later. Got to run.
I got a big shock of my life cause i totally had no idea i had created an account before. After much investigation, i found out it was the work of my younger sister. The address of the blog was damn funny. Something like nerdygallolipop.blogspot.com. I forced her to delete it for me. Haha. Anyway post later. Got to run.
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